Monday, June 4, 2012

My Big Toe, Continued


Let me unfurl my sails and make for the open sea. I am not afraid to see the far horizon as my only course. I do not need the crowded land to be my only harbor. I will let the wind chase me over the waves, skimming beneath the cloudless sky, steering through the night by the stars I choose to follow. I will trust my self to be this free for I know that God accepts me just as I am, empowers me as I am made, and will share my joy as I dare to go as far as I can before I reach that distant shore where the light of an endless love will bring me safely home. ~Steven Charleston

My Big Toe
Continued


If you have seen me, read my blog post ‘My Big Toe,’ or seen any of my Facebook posts you know that a little over two weeks ago I had surgery on my right big toe. After years of abuse, the cartilage wore out and arthritis set in. Lately it had become a constant source of pain and discomfort.  This was complicated by the fact that I can not take NSAIDs, anti-inflammatory pain relievers. The time had come to have the bones in the toe fused. The dread of surgery was ominous. Dr. Torres described the surgery using words like, scrape, roughen, plate, screws, and twelve week recovery period. Yet he never said those words in a negative way. He always looked ahead to the net result of what ever was to come.

The surgery went very well, just a little longer than expected. Dr. T found a real mess when he ‘got in there.’ This is not a bit unusual for me and medical procedures. I have found that there is a price to pay for abusing one’s body when you are young. Week one of recovery was a day and a half of ‘pain’ pills and the rest keeping the foot elevated 99% of the time (boring). The second week I got the reprieve. I was allowed to go back to the office for four days (not five) for a maximum of four hours a day, with the promise that I would elevate the foot when not perambulating. During this time I was wearing a very fashionable open toed bootie and sporting a cane for both balance and minimizing the potential for weight bearing. Now this week I am allowed to be at work for the full day… still with the bootie and cane.

When I returned to worked, I immediately encountered large numbers of people who wanted to know ‘what happened.’ They were also very curious about the two small feathers secured by a leather thong on the shaft of my cane. Why would they find two small feathers unusual on a chaplain’s cane?.. especially a chaplain who was born and grew up in Oklahoma, on American Indian land. So just for those who may sense a conflict between the Christian beliefs and American Indian Spirituality and beliefs I give this apologetic.

There are many symbols used in the various Christian traditions and other religions of the world to remind their followers of important aspects of their faith or special occasions in their traditions. As a matter of fact, there are thousands of symbols used to give others information about many things. One most frequently seen in my work place is the caduceus, the traditional symbol of medical practitioners.

For me like most Native Americans the feather is a symbol of the wind. The wind is frequently associated with the presence of the Holy (or Great) Spirit. For me the two feathers on my cane is a reminder that no matter where I go or what I am going through that I am never alone. I know that God is with me, that His Spirit is there to give me comfort and support, help me make decisions, relieve my pain (physical and other), and to direct my walk to those who are also in need. I am like everyone else, distracted by the times. My feathers securely anchor me to those things that I need to focus on.

Still skeptical? Let me take you a verse from the Apostle John as our Lord speaks to one who is skeptical:

The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."
John 3:8 (NIV)
I.N.J.

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