“It is the
power of the Spirit. When Jesus appeared people wanted to be close to him
and touch him because "power came out of him" (Luke 6:19). It is this
power of the divine Spirit that Jesus wants to give us. The Spirit indeed
empowers us and allows us to be healing presences. When we are filled
with that Spirit, we cannot be other than healers.”
~Henri Nouwen
In chaplaincy and all forms of pastoral care the most power
filled action we can take is the ministry of presence. In the midst of chaos,
pain, suffering, loss, illness, or other adversity there is little if anything
that we as humans can do to change what was or is happening. There is certainly
nothing that we can say that will help during this initial time of shock and
realization. What helps most is simply being there. Our presence is more
important than anything else we can do. You will find that those in need want
to touch you, hug you, hold your hand, or have your arm around them. They can
feel a power in your presence and touch. It is the power of the Spirit that
they are feeling, through you. It is that divine Spirit that Jesus has given us
in order to give it those who need it most. The Spirit empowers us, all of us,
and allows us to be healing presences. You see, when we are filled with the
Spirit of Jesus, we cannot be other than healers. When I teach pastoral care
giving I make a statement that is contrary to everything we were likely taught
when we were young. People told us “Don’t just stand there, say something.”
What I tell you is “Don’t say anything, just stand there.”
After a short time, a second action of ministry is
appropriate. This is a ministry of mercy. A cold drink of water can be very
soothing. It relieves that parched dryness of the mouth, gives a small thing to
do with the hands, and helps to bring them back into a cognitive state.
Remember that Jesus cried at the grave of Lazarus. There is no higher
permission to show emotion that this act of Jesus. Because he was a man, He
felt the emotional and psychological suffering of grief. You may offer the
hurting permission to cry. I recommend having tissues handy. There is an
American Indian saying that goes: “If it wasn’t for tears the Soul would have
no rainbows.” Tears are very therapeutic, an outward sign of all that emotion
and stress that are in pent up inside. There is a release of hormones into the
system that brings a kind of peace or euphoria that aids in coping. Don’t be surprised
as crying sometimes leads to laughing.
You may tell the grieving that all of those feelings they
are having are quite natural. They are the natural reaction to an abnormal
situation or event. It is not usual that people have feelings of anger toward
God for allowing this event to occur. This happens in the most faithful
believers. In my experience, the last thing people want to hear at this very
vulnerable time is unsolicited Bible verses or religious sounding platitudes
like ‘God needed another angel in His choir” or “your loved one has gone to a
better place.” I recommend that a Bible be handy in case someone has a favorite
verse that reassures them in times of crisis. I never just pull out the Bible
and begin reading. I only read Scriptures to the mourning during that first few
hours if they request it.
Prayer is the only thing that I give equal power to next to
presence. I begin my personal silent prayers before ever encountering the
patient or family. I continue those prayers throughout our time together. A
part of my prayer is that the Holy Spirit guides me through this time. I listen
for the Spirit and I listen to those I am ministering to. I seldom if ever tell
people ‘let’s pray.’ I either ask if they would like for me to pray with them or wait for them to ask me to pray with
them. I believe that it is important to allow the grieving to actively take
part in the prayers. The widest know prayer is the Lord’s Prayer. I often ask
them to join me in saying that prayer. I then structure my prayers calling the
patient or victim by their name and acknowledging that God loves that person
and those present. I always keep the prayer positive and upbeat. I always
acknowledge the grief of those present and ask God to walk through this
difficult time with them.
The Right Reverend Steven Charleston, Retired Episcopal Bishop
has written many wisdoms regarding prayer. I will share two: “The agent of
healing is prayer. We are each physicians of prayer, sworn to practice its art
for any who need a blessing. Let us be about our task, Spirit guided and Spirit
filled, transforming one another, healing the healers, healing a waiting world.”
And “I touched the light of heaven, just the other day, standing in a hospital
room, praying protection for a man about to step into an unknown. It was the
strangest feeling. As the prayer was spoken the words turned to streams of
light, weaving like a ribbon around the patient, until he was radiant in the
glow of God's love. That light-filled prayer remains even now, in these quiet
morning shadows. I speak those words with you in mind, a prayer for your
safekeeping. Don't be surprised if when you catch a glimpse in a mirror you
imagine you see a halo.”
When we go into a pastoral care ministry whether it is in Wal-Mart,
a home, a hospital setting, or as an intercessor in a church, go armed with the
presence of the Holy Spirit, filled with the Holy Spirit, and guided by the
Holy Spirit.
My prayer for you is that you may experience the power of
God’s love in your ministry and that you are witness to His many miracles.
Blessings to you on your journey with the Holy Spirit.
I.N.J.
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