Two different views of ‘Hospitality’

“When there is a true hospitality, not many words are needed”
- Arapaho

Hospitality

          Amidst of the forest in a lonely clearing, where fox and hare meet in the moonlight, there stood an old oak tree whose leaves were tinted with the color of autumnal gold. Many a storm had tousled the foliage and many a cold winter had wrinkled the bark. But the knotted roots had clung firmly to the soil so that the tree withstood any bad weather that came the way. So large was the trunk of this old tree that even the largest animal was able to hide behind it. No one who lived in the forest knew the age of the tree or could imagine that once its place had stood empty. But long, long ago even this old tree must have been young and full of expectation for the things that life would hold in store. Although there wasn’t a living soul from near or far that could remember the tree’s childhood, the oak didn’t feel  lonely, for it offered refuge to many an animal, and so it never stayed alone. 

       A family of mice had built their home beneath the roots, and a folk of ants had made their hill at the foot of the tree. The ants gathered all kinds of twigs, pine needles and blades of grass to reinforce their high fortress with a tower. A woodpecker found many a tidbit in the crevices of the old bark and a dead branch offered him the chance to demonstrate his skill as a carpenter. Two playful squirrels chased each other in the shadow of the widespread foliage and an owl sat blinking sleepily in a hollow that age had carved in the gnarled trunk. At the very top of the tree where the branches were at their thinnest and stretched out to reach the sun, a flock of birds were chattering away in preparation of their long flight to the South. Like that you have to imagine the place where the following incidents happened.

         One day a strange event disturbed this well-ordered world. Far in the North the winter had begun prematurely, bringing cold winds and snow to that region. The animals living there were caught by surprise, and they still hadn’t finished gathering their supplies for the cold season. They decided they had to set out for a warmer region so as to survive the coming winter. It was for this reason that a small group of hungry and exhausted refugees eventually came across the clearing. A mole, a family of hedgehogs with six children and two rabbits asked for shelter. The native dwellers, considering the clearing as their own hereditary home, didn’t welcome the unexpected newcomers. They feared they would have to share their ample food stocks with them. To gloss over their hard-hearted behavior they lamented a little, claiming not to have enough food and shelter for their own families.

        The oak-tree shook angrily the foliage, and the feathers on the old owl high up in the tree bristled when she heard all this nonsense. "I know you think I'm sleeping all day up here in my home", she shouted, “but I've watched your greed. You’ll all get stomach aches if you yourselves devour all the food you’ve hoarded these past months”. All the commotion down below made the birds speechless. They recalled the hospitality, given them by others during their long flights to the South. They had seen the world, and they knew that above all poor people share their last piece of bread with a hungry guest. After recovering from the shock at the behavior of their hard-hearted and self-righteous neighbors, they spoke of the hardships they had endured. They told of their thirst as they crossed the desert, and how the native animals of those regions never refused them from their watering places when they needed refreshment. The birds reported this and other stories of the help they received in far from here. The animals which had led such a comfortable life had never before reflected on the thought of being forced to rely on aid from elsewhere, so they listened attentively to all that was said. Finally they realized how selfish they had been and bade the newcomers welcome.  ~By Karl Wiener

Please take just a minute and think about which of these views you aspire to. Do you quietly and without fanfare invite the travelers in, give them a seat by the fire, and bring them food and drink? Or, do you have to be talked into making the sacrifice of sharing what you have to benefit the traveler? I encourage you, when the traveler comes to this door, that you will greet them as a member of the family or a cherished friend, give them all that they need, and bless them with hospitality. ~Fred

“Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” ~Romans 12:13 (NIV)

“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” ~1 Peter 4:9 (NIV)

“We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth.” ~ 3 John 1:8 (NIV)

I.N.J.

Holding the Cup - Mother’s Day with dementia/Alzheimer’s

Holding the Cup 

          

We all must hold the cups of our lives.  As we grow older and become more fully aware of the many sorrows of life - personal failures, family conflicts, disappointments in work and social life, and the many pains surrounding us on the national and international scene - everything within and around us conspires to make us ignore, avoid, suppress, or simply deny these sorrows.  "Look at the sunny side of life and make the best of it," we say to ourselves and hear others say to us.   But when we want to drink the cups of our lives, we need first to hold them, to fully acknowledge what we are living, trusting that by not avoiding but befriending our sorrows we will discover the true joy we are looking for right in the midst of our sorrows. ~Henri Nouwen 

This is a time of year that many of us have a difficult time. Mother’s Day should be a joyous occasion. It is a day that we as children give thanks for our mother and all she is to us. Even when mother has gone to be with the Lord, there can still be the joy of remembering.

Those of us with mother’s who are suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s or both instead are often given a bitter cup to drink on this otherwise joyous occasion. Sometimes dementia and Alzheimer’s disease are kind to their victims, giving them a happy place to live out their life. Sadly for some of us they give mom a terrible and painful place to live; filled with pain, anxiety, paranoia, and fear. We celebrate mother’s day with someone we don’t really know, who looks like mom but doesn’t act at all like the one that took care of us through our childhood, teens, young adulthood, marriage, children, and senior adulthood.  That mother is gone away somewhere foreign and distant. The one we are trying to love today may tell us that she doesn’t like us, doesn’t trust us, or doesn’t know who we are.

We still love our mom. We still pray for our mom. And we still have hope that during the good days she has some peace. And we say on this day Happy Mother’s Day mom. We love you mom. We are going to continue to take excellent care of you and try to make you comfortable and contented.

In our case, my sister has chosen to leave her job and has spent the past four years living with and caring for our mother. I view this as heroic! This has for her been a supreme sacrifice. My sister is a mom and a grandmother.  She will get Happy Mother’s Day cards, hugs, flowers, and love.  She also is holding that cup sorrow and sacrifice. I pray on this day that she be able to hold that cup and is able to discover the true joy she is looking for right there in the midst of her burdens.

Here is a story from the Alzheimer’s Association that reveals what my sister likely going is through and advice for all the children out there who are their mother’s caregiver. God bless you for what you are doing.

Roberta, I wish you a very blessed and Happy Mother’s Day. I love you.

Muffett's Story

I’ve been the primary caregiver for my mother with dementia/Alzheimer’s for the past nine years. She’s 86 and is fading away by inches and by bit and pieces. It is so unbelievably cruel and torturous to watch someone who was an excellent teacher and active lover of life be whittled away by this hideous disease a tiny bit at a time. I’m convinced she contracted it through hormone replacement therapy, which she had for too long and past the age of 75. I really don’t know how to convey how horrible this is for her and for me. She has suffered more than we can ever know, both physically and mentally. I have given 20 percent of my life to caring for her 24/7. Predictably, my life has received no attention at all. I have no husband, no family, no career, no retirement, no plans for the future. I’ve had to endure my own personal heartaches in silence, including losing several beloved pets over the years, losing relatives and my own battle with skin cancer. Everything is secondary when you are a caregiver. Your life is forfeited, and because this battle cannot be won, you will ultimately fail. There is simply no way to put a good face on this experience. After all these years, I can offer only this advice to other caregivers: You will need God. You will need Him for help and to yell at. You’ll need His guidance, and you’ll need to be angry with Him. If you don’t have Him now, find Him as soon as possible. Establish one caregiver to be the final authority in decisions about care giving. There can only be one chief in this war, but surround yourself with good advisers. Identify your support system, but remember that they will lose interest and, ultimately, not be able to give you all you need. You need to find support within yourself as well. Demand that your doctor hears you and responds to every one of your loved one’s needs. Forget about your own life and give up any hopes for the future as long as you’re a caregiver. Hope will kill your soul. Constant disappointment will destroy you. You can only survive by taking it one day at a time. There is no happy ending with this disease. Fight for quality of life and controlling symptoms. Keep your loved one as involved in life and activities as long as you can and as long as they are able to enjoy them. Don’t expect a medal for being the caregiver, and don’t accept being blamed for not being able to stay awake 24 hours a day and missing something. You’re one person doing the job of 10 people. Go easy on yourself and distance yourself from people who try to blame you. You might get a reward in heaven, but you’re not getting one here. Your only reward is knowing you gave your loved one the best and most comfortable end of life that you could. Set up boundaries to protect yourself. This job will wear you down to nothing, and then it begins to get difficult. Don’t expect a non-caregiver to ever understand what you’re going through. Pray. You won’t get through this without a spiritual support system. First and last, take time to pray. Find God. Find a church, if you can, to help you keep loving yourself and knowing you’re doing the right thing and your sacrifice is worth it. God is the only one who will ever understand everything that you go through. The effort is worth it to see that your loved one is comfortable, safe and cared for. You will not come out of the experience the same person that you went into it. Pray that you will be a better person and don’t let the disease consume you.  alz.org I.N.J.

Poems and Prayers for Nurses

Poems and Prayers for Nurses

by http://3catsmeow4me.wordpress.com/category/my-photographs/

Dear Lord,

Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

and the Wisdom to hide the bodies of those Doctors I had to kill because they pushed me too far…

Being A Nurse Means…

 You will never be bored.

You will always be frustrated.

You will be surrounded by challenges,

So much to do and so little time.

You will carry immense responsibility And limited authority.

You will step into people’s lives

And you will make a difference

Some will bless you,

Some will curse you.

You will see people at their worst

And at their best.

You will never cease to be amazed

At people’s capacity for Love, courage, and endurance.

You will experience resounding triumphs

And devastating failures.

You will cry a lot,

You will laugh a lot,

You will know what it is to be human,

And to be humane.

Dedicated to the man I never Knew…

As I tend to you, in your death.

I feel I know you, by those you left.

You must have been, a wonderful man.

The strength and character, of your clan

I see love, deep in their eyes.

The pain they feel is no disguise.

The gentle way, they touch your hand.

As you are drifting, to the Promised Land.

Your children talked, of being raised.

Respect and devotion, lived at your place.

Grateful to God, they appeared to be.

Happy to be a part of your family.

Your wife’s heart is beating loud.

Tears well up, her eyes did cloud.

Unable to speak, she begins to cry.

Begging to God, to not let you die.

So you see, my friend, this life is past.

But the values you left, will always last.

Though I never knew you, I know you well.

Your life, your love, their eyes did tell.

 Regretfully… not all patients survive,

but the love they have given their family will last a lifetime.

During the celebration of Nurses week, sanctify, O Lord, those whom you have called to the study and practice of the arts of healing, and to the prevention of disease and pain, particularly our nurses. Strengthen them by your life-giving Spirit, that by their ministries the health of the community may be promoted and your creation glorified; through our Lord.  Amen. (Adapted from the Book of Common Prayer page 460)

One of my favorite times of year is during Nurses Week when Vitas Innovative Hospice comes to the hospital to do the blessing of the hands. I have the honor of going unit to unit with them on both shifts to perform the ceremony. I am not alone in looking forward to this day. Our nursing staff over the past seven years have come to love and appreciate this personal affirmation of love, respect, and valuing. While the program in all its phases is 100% voluntary, the response is overwhelming. Chaplain Dan Wolfe and Wendy Walsh from Vitas do a prayer, hand washing, and pinning with an angel pin, I am privileged to do an anointing of the hands and a personal prayer directed to the nurse's special needs. There is no way to properly explain the depth of this small token of God's love. I am truly blessed being a part of it. It is a touching and memorable experience for all of us.  ~ Fred

I.N.J.

Composting our Lives by Timothy Teates

It has been several years now since my wife and I have been able to plant a garden. So you can imagine how exciting it has been for us to plant our garden now that we are living in Reliance, Virginia.   We had never tried composting before so it was going to be interesting to see how compost would affect our garden. I knew that the compost would enrich our garden soil. What I was not prepared for was the variety of volunteer plants that would spring up in our garden.

We originally planted six tomato plants and, because we put some compost in the garden as it was being tilled, we ended up with eleven.  Also last fall we purchased a pumpkin to decorate our porch.   After the pumpkin had seen better days, we cut it up and put it on the compost pile.  While several articles recommended that we make sure not to allow seeds into the compost mix, we decided to just dump in everything.

And so over the winter I turned the compost faithfully and added our kitchen scraps.  I kept wondering what the soil from the compost would look like and whether it was actually doing what it was supposed to do. After all, we had not put the compost in a bin, as is sometimes recommended, but just piled it up near the back fence. 

This was an experimental year, both for the compost and the garden.  It was a pleasant surprise to watch the volunteers, including two pumpkin vines, pop up in unexpected places and give us produce we hadn’t counted on.  Keep seeds out?  Where would be the adventure in that?

Where is all this leading?  It has reminded me that when you and I put ourselves in God’s hands (seeds and all) and trust God, we are never quite sure what life will have in store for us, but we will always be surprised by God.  And it seems to me those surprises are like my composting experiment—we never know what is going to grow in the garden of our lives. It usually turns out to be better than we could ever imagine.

Tim is a graduate of Shalem's Personal Spiritual Deepening Program, Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation.

http://shalem.org/index.php/resources/publications/articles-written-by-shalem-staff/composting-our-lives-by-timothy-teates

This article really grabbed me. Jo and I have built a home in Tennessee and are planning our retirement there. Even though a bit premature, we have already set in a vegetable/Flower garden. Really the vegetable garden is the holding area for landscape plants being purchased for future placement.  As I am cleaning up around the house and in the woods I have been creating both a critter habitat and a compost pile. There is really no telling what ultimately will end up in our garden as a result. But, that is not the real reason that this article grabbed me. Jo and I are both ordained clergy, we are professional hospital chaplains, Police/Fire/EMS volunteer chaplains, and very active in our parish church. We are both retired Law Enforcement. We both teach pastoral care classes to pastors and laity. We are experienced with M.A.D.D. and general bereavement counseling, working with PTSD and stress trauma, and C.I.S.M. This article reinforces for me that we don't have any idea what God has in store for us(seeds and all) in retirement, but I am sure that there will surprises come up in our garden and in our ministry. We are trusting God that they will be better than we ever imagined.

I.N.J.

See what the next generation is saying:

a thought
we are but a small part of a much bigger world. the only way we are going to progress through these tough times is to realize that we are living in a dump of a “civilization” run by people that only want more and more and more, so therefore we are all fine? no we are not, i have seen my father go through very tough times with his work which he hates, he sees people that have had lies pumped into them all his life, they are under the illusion that they have a great job a great home and so on, when really all they have are things, things that cover up how bad the quality of life is as we know it. if things don't change soon, the whole country if not the whole planet could be a bunch of people under these illusions, sitting in cubicles staring at a computer screen slowly dying inside while saying “oh boy! cant wait for my two kids perfect life with my convertible my new mansion and all the stuff i could ever want” that is the illusion that you have created for yourself and yet you’re still not happy, not truly happy cause deep inside you must know that you cant truly buy happiness, you need to wake up from the illusion. if i am only 16 and have figured this all out then maybe you need to think about this note.

follow your heart, not your mind
--Justin Reid, Utah


http://sacredfirecommunity.org/take-a-stand-for-the-generations-to-come/

I put this on my blog not as a recruitment tool for an organization; but as a challenge for you to take the 30 or so minutes to watch the videos on this link. Then I want you to think very hard about the things these youngsters and young adults are saying. Put all the political rhetoric of our time aside. Politics left, right, or middle are not helping us secure the world, our planet, for the use of our children and grandchildren. Politics is not helping mold our children and our childrens's children into people who love God (Creator) and love their neighbors. Our youth are recognizing that we live in a time of self centeredness and smoke and mirrors happiness. This is not the world that they hope for. My plea to you is that you help our young people to become the mechanism of change the pattern of decline in the morals and ethics of our nation and our world. Give our children the opportunity to blossom into the beauty that God has planned for them. (Acts 20:35 NIV) In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"


As always I am a Christian first and I look back toward the primitive Church, the lives of the indigenous, aboriginal, American Indian traditions for examples of how God's will was once lived out.


I thank Sacred Fire Communities for their contribution to a global effort to make Earth a better place to live.

I.N.J.

Prayer Works

“Hope is the match, prayer is the fire. If you know someone who needs a little help in getting a prayer life going, ask them if they ever hope for something. It’s a safe bet that they do. And all the time. Humans are hopeful creatures. We are in an almost daily state of hope. We hope it won't rain. We hope we get better. We hope we win. Hope is a constant for us in our emotional matrix. Prayer is simply hope captured. Rather than a fleeting wish, through prayer hope becomes a focused intention. Prayer matures hope by allowing God to light a fire.”

~The Rt. Rev. Steven Charleston, Choctaw

The Power of Prayer

Author unknown

It is said that a missionary on furlough told this true story while visiting his home church in Michigan.

Upon arrival in the city, I observed two men fighting, one of whom had been seriously injured. I treated him for his injuries and at the same time talked to him about the Lord. I then traveled two days, camping overnight, and arrived home without incident. Two weeks later I repeated my journey. Upon arriving in the city, I was approached by the young man I had treated.

He told me that he had known I carried money and medicines. He said, "Some friends and I followed you into the jungle, knowing you would camp overnight. We planned to kill you and take your money and drugs. But, just as we were about to move into your camp, we saw that you were surrounded by 26 armed guards." 

At this I laughed and said that I was certainly all alone out in that jungle campsite. The young man pressed the point, however, and said "No sir, I was not the only person to see the guards. My five friends also saw them and we all counted them. It was because of those guards that we were afraid and left you alone."

At this point in the sermon, one of the men in the congregation jumped to his feet and interrupted the missionary and asked if he could tell him the exact day that this happened. The missionary told the congregation the date and the man who interrupted told him this story:

"On the night of your incident in Africa, it was morning here and I was preparing to go play golf. I was about to putt when I felt the urge to pray for you. In fact, the urging of the Lord was so strong; I called men in this church to meet with me here in the sanctuary to pray for you. Would all of those men who met with me on that day stand up?"

The men who had met together to pray that day stood up. I wasn’t concerned with who they were - he was too busy counting how many men he saw. There were 26.

This story is an incredible example of how the Spirit of the Lord moves in mysterious ways. If you ever hear such prodding, go along with it.

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven… ~ Psalm 107:28-30 

A personal note: On March 30^th our 7 year old grandson Ian was struck by a postal vehicle while playing in his front yard (Newnan, Ga.). He was flown to Egleston Children’s Hospital in Atlanta in very critical condition. While the helicopter was in the air, calls were being made and Facebook posts were being written asking for prayers for Ian. I am very happy to report that Ian is at home recovering. He is still on concussion precautions and will not be able to go back to school during this school year; but is expected to make a full and complete recovery. Thanks to each and every one of you who prayed for him, put him on your church’s prayer list, and forwarded the FB posts. Prayer works. Fred 

I.N..J.

Peace

A peace is of the nature of a conquest; for then both parties nobly are subdued, and neither party loser.  ~from King Henry IV, part 2

April 23, 2012  is the would-be 448th birthday (and death day) of the one and only William Shakespeare. He is said to be the Most Quotable Man in history.

A Perfect Peace

Author unknown

There once was a King who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The King looked at all the pictures, but there were only two he really liked and he had to chose between them.

One picture was of a clam lake.  The lake was the perfect mirror for the peaceful towering mountains that were around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

The other picture had mountains too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky from which rain fell, in which lightening played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.

But when the King looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest.  There in the midst of the angry water sat the mother bird on her nest… perfect peace.

The King chose the second picture.

When asked why the King replied:

“Because,” explained the King, “peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace.”

“I have told you this so that you may have ‘peace’ in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33 (NLT)

I.N.J.